What are sticks?
Sticks is usually long, brown, pointy and sticky. They have many enemies and in turn many defenses. Sticks is useful because they are very versatile and powerful. But they are also very hard to find so they are also very valuable. In the past sticks and humans have lived harmoniously but conflict has increased between the two recently.
What are sticks good for?
Sticks are very useful. Here is some uses: poking, fire, sticking, dangerous weapon, snake action figure, poking things from far away ( need better sticks for this), hit people with them, throwing, etc.
A stick was also used in the creation of the Universe. See Personal Experiences: Gih, Daniel.
Where can I get sticks?
There is many ways to get sticks; here are a few of the most common ways:
1. Trees
Step 1: you go and climb a tree
Step 2: and cut off the tree’s hair
Step 3: and then you get sticks!
Source: Jason Cao [JC]
2. Popsicles
Step 1: Just eat popsicle and you get sticks!
Source: I forget, but she is nice.
3. Look for them at Night
Step 1: Make it night.
Step 2: Go outside and look for sticks under trees with your flash light
Step 3: People might think you are trying to steal your tree so yell and throw things at them to show you come in peace.
Step 4: The police will come and give you sticks.
Source: Jacky Diaz
Natural Defenses
When collecting sticks you must be very careful since they have many natural defenses.
1. Pointy: pointy things hurt
2. Thorns: more pointy
3. Stealth: sticks are very good at being stealthy, sometimes they don’t move for days at a time.
Chinese Sticks Proverb
“Sticks are just a tick between two snakes.” – JC
Big Stick Policy
Theodore Roosevelt had a big stick policy. Everyone had to have a big stick when he was President cause he knew how good sticks are.
Enemies of Sticks
Sticks have many enemies because they are prized so heavily I many cultures and are so versatile.
1. Dogs: Dogs eat sticks.
2. Wheels: Wheels are the opposite of sticks. They are the ying to sticks yang. They are round.
3. Humans?: In recent years human-stick relationship has gotten worse and worser.
Stick Encounters
I have compiled many interviews of people and their encounters with sticks.
Cao, Jason
JC: oh! i made
JC: a fort
JC: out of sticks
JC: in my back yard
Me: liek big enoguh for you
Me: tell em about it
JC: it was more of a teepeee
JC: but yes
JC: i could crawl under it
JC: but there were lots of bugs
JC: and spiders
JC: and woodland creatures
Me: then what happened
JC: then i decided i was going to be
JC: godzilla
JC: and
JC: stomp on it
JC: and THROW IT ON THE GROUND
JC: and that was the end
JC: of my teepee and Native American experience
Me: true story?
JC: yes
Analysis: This experience shows the versatility of snakes. The unprovoked aggression toward the sticks shows deteriorating relations between humans and sticks.
Day, Jason
JD: i poked my eye once with one
JD: and not my brown eye
Me: oh man
JD: my real eye
JD: and lost my contact
Me: why did u poke urself in theye
JD: i was climbing a tree at night
JD: and bammm
Analysis: The sticks retaliate for invasion of their homeland. This encounter also shows the stealthiness of sticks.
Erman, Ayhan
AE: well i threw one
AE: into
AE: a persons
AE: spokes
AE: of his bike
AE: one time
AE: in turkey
Me: then what happened
AE: he almost crashed
AE: cause it broke
AE: but it was kinda hard
AE: so he like crunched it
AE: and started wobbling
AE: and almost fell
Analysis: This encounter shows the rivalry between stick and wheel. It also shows the power of sticks when used properly.
Gih, Daniel
DG: of course i nvr sued a stick
DG: only used one
Me: used*
Me: when did u used it
DG: when i want to
Me: and then what happend
DG: everything
Me: really?
DG: yes
Analysis: This encounter shows the awesome power of sticks in that they were used in creation of the universe.
Ji, Steven
SJ: STICK WENT TO MOON
Me: then what happend
SJ: TO FIND CHEESE
SJ: NO FIND
SJ: SO COULDNT BECOME CHEESE STICK
Analysis: This story shows the explorative nature of sticks.
Lo, Dana
DL: i was sitting at a bus stop
DL: and then a truck was on the road pretty fast on meridian
DL: and then the branch got stuck in the tires
DL: and hit the side of my face
DL: and im like WHTTTT
DL: tht was it then the bus came and i left LOL
Me: what did the stick do afterwrads
DL: laid there and found another victim to atack
Analysis: The Encounter with Dayna Lo once again shows the rivalry between wheel and stick. It also shows the aggressive behavior sticks have been driven to because of human aggression.
Masood, Amir
AM: I threw a stick in a campfire once
Me: and then what happened
AM: and then it got hot and I guess there was an air pocket in it
AM: and it popped and the peice of firey stick flew and hit me in the face
Analysis: Once again unprovoked human aggression towards sticks is shown and once again sticks retaliate.
Mozayan, Cameron
CM: i guess i could tell you about the time
CM: when i found a big stick
CM: and i was hiking
Me: ya
CM: and i totally
CM: walking stick’d it up with that shit
Me: really?
CM: mhmm
CM: i didn’t even NEED the stick
Me: then what happened
CM: that’s how hardcore the stick was
CM: then when i was done
CM: i brought the stick
CM: back to the campground
CM: and kept it
CM: until we left
CM: which was when
Me: then you let it go back into the wild
CM: i threw it on its funeral pyre
CM: hell no
Me: oh god
CM: this is like an indian marriage, man
Analysis: This encounter shows usefulness of sticks. They are good for waling. Also shows unprovoked human aggression.
Saurus, Kirsten
KS: well all i can think of is pulling a branch from a bush with thorns out of my poor dog’s hair the other day
KS: thorns hurt
Me: ah
Me: oaky
Me: then what happened
KS: thats all
Me: true story?
KS: yes
Analysis: Shows defensive power of sticks and their enemies of dogs.
14 January 2010
